


Letters to Clarke

by Jemma97



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Gen, Season 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4705511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemma97/pseuds/Jemma97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(post season 2) Bellamy is trying to lead his people without Clarke but finds it hard. He starts leaving letters for her in random places throughout the woods, hoping that somehow, she'll be able to read them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Clarke,

I know you probably won’t get this letter. I’m not really sure why I’m even writing it. I guess I just want to write everything that’s happening down. And I guess it’s comforting to know that there’s even the slightest chance that you’ll get the letter. I don’t know Either way, I’m writing this letter to you.

You’ve been gone for two weeks, Clarke. Maybe it’s time to come back? I know you think you’re doing what’s right, but enough is enough. Just come back to camp, okay? Everyone is more tense without you. Come back, Clarke.

You owe it to your mom. She’s a good leader, I know that. And she’s smart, and a good leader. But she needs you. You know what keeps her going? You. You were always what kept her fighting, kept her going. You were what made her such a good leader, because she always wanted to do what’s best for you. Now you’re not here, and she’s not sure what’s best for you or the rest of us. She can’t be a good leader without you.

You owe it to your people. With Abby unsure about every decision she makes, that makes Kane unsure about every decision he makes. And who is going to lead us, if not Abby and Kane? Me? Sure, I might have jumped at that idea a couple months ago, but now? I’m not so sure I’m what’s best for our people. But I do know that you’re what’s best for our people. They need your leadership.

You owe it to Raven. You’re a healer, and you could help her. Abby’s always so busy with other things that she doesn’t even have time to help Raven recover. Not to say that she ignores her, but Abby’s just got so many people on her mind right now. She’s trying so hard to be tough, our Raven. I think she’s trying to prove something. To prove that she’s not weak or fragile...but she needs you, Clarke. You’re her doctor, and--more importantly--her friend. Her best friend, probably.  Come back for her.

You owe it to Jasper and Maya. Do you think she would be happy knowing that her boyfriend is walking around the camp, miserable? Maya died, yes. And we caused it. We need to accept that. I know you feel terrible about it, and I do too. It haunts me every day. But we need to accept that, and we need to help Jasper out. He won’t talk to anyone, Clarke. Not even Monty. He just wanders around the camp alone. He won’t listen when I try to talk to him--try to apologize, but maybe he’ll listen to you.

You owe it to Octavia. You haven’t forgotten that your decisions almost got her blown up by a bomb, have you?

You owe it to Finn. He didn’t die so you could walk away from us.

You owe it to Monty, who’s heartbroken without Jasper.

You owe it to Harper, who cries when she thinks no one’s watching.

You owe it to Monroe. She still has nightmares.

You owe it to Lincoln, whose more than a little lost without his people.

You owe it to Lexa. She betrayed you, yes, but she wants our people to be okay.

You owe it to Wells. He just wanted you to be happy.

If you won’t do it for them, Clarke, can you do it for me?

-Bellamy

 


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke,

Raven’s getting worse. Earlier today, Wick came out of the engineering tent, screaming for help, saying she just collapsed. When I got inside, she was having some sort of fit or seizure...I’m not sure what it was, I’m not a doctor. It was scary, Clarke. Honestly. It was terrifying. I thought she was going to die right then and there.

I was stupidly useless. My flight-or-fight instinct didn’t really kick in; I just sort of stood there as Wick picked her up and carried her into the infirmary. Jackson’s been running it now. He says Abby’s too busy leading the community to be bothered with “stuff like this”. Can you believe that? Raven’s life was on the line, and Jackson wouldn’t let your mom see her because she’s just not important enough.

She’s sleeping now, but not soundly. I’m sitting right next to her, and she’s sweating and moaning something, but we can’t tell what. Jackson said it might be because of an infection from Mt Weather’s drills, or maybe she got bitten by bug or something. I honestly don’t think he knows what he’s doing, and I don’t think he can help Raven.

Wick’s here too. He hasn’t left her side yet, even though Kane said they needed him back in the engineering tent. Jackson says he’s not sure Raven will make it through the night. It’s _that bad,_ and he still won’t tell your mom that she’s sick.

Clarke, you know I don’t believe in God, but if He does exist, pray that Raven makes it through the night. ~~Pray for all of us, Clarke. I’m praying for you, too.~~

  
Bellamy


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke, I know I said I know you probably won’t get these letters, but if you are, then give me some sort of sign. I noticed my first letter isn’t at the dropship, where I left it, but I’m not sure if that’s because you found it, or because it just blew away or if an animal took it or any other reason. Just...if you are getting these letters, let me know. Somehow. That doesn’t mean you have to come back to camp or come and see me in person. I’d just like to know that you’re okay.

I know just how dangerous these woods can be. Even without the threat of Mt Weather or the immediate threat of the grounders, there are still weird and scary things in these woods. Knowing that you’re safe would be nice.

It’s just that I can’t keep anyone safe lately. Sure, we got our people out of Mt Weather, but not all of them. I keep seeing them, Clarke.Everytime I close my eyes I see the people we’ve lost. Finn and Wells and Maya and Charlotte and Atom and Roma and Fox and Sterling and...you. Your face is constantly in my mind with the people I’ve lost. Because, honestly, Clarke, I don’t know if I have. I don’t know if I’ve lost you too because you just left.

If you’re alive, Clarke, I need to know. Please. Just give me a sign, dammit. It’s bad enough that Raven is sick--she made it through the night, but she’s still not doing well. I can’t lose her, and I can’t lose you either.

Just let me know that you’re okay. I don’t want to keep seeing your face next to the people I’ve failed.

Your friend,

Bellamy


	4. Chapter 4

  
You know what, Clarke? I take it back. I’m not sorry. I’m not the one who failed you. You failed me. I shoudn’t be the one haunted by you, you should be the one haunted by me. You’re the one who left me with this stupidly messy situation. You’re the one who caused that situation in the first place. You’re the one who trust Lexa. Who shot Wallace. Who failed us. Why should I feel guilty for what you’ve done?


End file.
